Fixed Mind
by Renhi
Summary: Slightly AU MoriRen--She wasn't beautiful-nor would she ever become beautiful, she told herself. But from the sidelines, one person silently disagreed.


**Love is--Challenge (SHINE)**  
**Username:** Renhi  
**Pairing:** MoriRen  
**Prompt:** Hope

**Slightly AU, contains anorexia (slightly?)**

* * *

She wasn't beautiful.

No matter how much Renge fawned over her appearance, she was never a beautiful girl in the first place. Her hair stuck out at odd angles whenever she woke up in the morning, her dark circles were a bit too visible, and even the best of skin care couldn't make her feel content about her appearance. Her body was too , she had no curves, her feet were too big and she was too short, and…

Renge sighed as she looked at her reflection.

_Ugly_.

That was what she was.

She'd never look like those shoujo manga characters, she concluded as she looked at herself. She was too bony, too weak, too charmless. Being rich didn't mean that you automatically looked like a beauty, after all. Renge touched the mirror in front of her and stroked her reflection. She smiled.

Fluffing her uniform dress and straightening the ribbon on her hair and putting her final touches of flair, Renge ran down the stairs of her mansion to get on her limo to Ouran, smiling brightly all the way to school as a hollow feeling of self-loathing spread across her chest.

She was not beautiful. She was not special. She was a small, useless being that would die one day.

It was a mantra that helped her know where her place was. She was rich, but she was powerless in abusing her monetary prosperity. A child in the world of the rich, per se.

_Useless._

A mere child, that was what she was. Just like the other girls from her class. Although 1-A had less vapid students in general, it was a known fact that most students in Ouran were content children that believed they were capable of anything and everything. But she knew better, and it was that life was never what it seemed like.

Obnoxiousness seemed to help her slightly. People became absorbed with the loud, boisterous Renge and never cared to look inside the hardened one inside. When she smiled, she smiled. That was it. There was no deep meaning, no underneath the underneath, just a smile. There was no reason to it.

Everything was bleak. Monochrome. _Hopeless_.

Renge sighed. This world was so boring.

* * *

Mori looked at the boken in front of him with tired eyes.

He tried to close his eyes and meditate, but the boken in front of him seemed to mock him with its complete silence and lack of movement (although he told himself that bokens didn't talk, the back of his mind seemed to refuse to listen).

Why was he in such a daze?

Sighing, he pressed a hand onto his forehead and stood up from the wooden floor. He glanced at the boken he left behind and slid the doors of the dojo shut and leaned back on it, feeling the sturdy pieces of wood support his back as he closed his eyes and breathed in and out in a rhythmic beat.

* * *

"Renge-kun, you look so pale! Are you alright?" The matronly girl in front of her looked at her worriedly as Renge rested her forehead on her hands.

Renge smiled weakly and nodded as she looked at the worried girl. "I'm fine. I just stayed up late yesterday. Thank you for worrying though, Akari."

Akari frowned. "Are you sure?" she pushed, looking at Renge with something akin to mild panic.

"Of course," Renge replied as she raised her head and smiled brightly. "I'm Renge!"

The bell rung at the most opportune time, and class began as she tried her best not to fall asleep. Renge felt her eyes flutter shut as the teacher droned on about mathematical functions and whatnot, and she rested her hands on her arms and fell asleep, unaware of the teacher's lecture about velocity.

* * *

Why was he feeling so uncomfortable?

He couldn't grab his boken without feeling something in the pit of stomach, and it bothered him that he couldn't do what he _had _to do without comfort. He was a Morinozuka. His family was born to wield the blade of honor, and yet…

"Takashi?"

Mori opened his eyes and looked at his cousin. "Ah."

"You still can't hold your blade?"

"…ah."

"Tell her," Hani pressed as he looked at Mori.

"I should." Mori looked at him impassively, but his eyes held a subtle flash of fear. "Not now."

"Soon?"

"Ah."

"You promised!" Hani stated as he hugged Usa-chan tighter. "Okay?"

"Ah, Mitsukuni. I promised."

He looked at his cousin's retreating form.

* * *

The Host Club was boisterous as always.

As the hosts charmed their customers and the customers swooned in delight, Renge sketched the twins holding each others' hands silently, her only movement from her wrist from the drawing and her neck from looking up and down.

"You're rather quiet today, aren't you?"

Renge smiled, somewhat bemused. "Of course, Kyouya-san," she said as she continued to sketch, "I need to concentrate while doing something, shouldn't I?"

"Of course," Kyouya replied. "My apologies."

Her hand paused as she looked at Kyouya with a smile on her face.

"But may I ask why?" she asked as she tried to look into his eyes as the light glared at his glasses.

He looked at her. "You're awfully quiet, it seems."

"Can't I?"

"I don't mind, actually."

"Good," she stated. Renge looked back at the somewhat-visible twins in her picture and began to draw again.

* * *

"You're not okay."

"No," she said, "I _am_ okay."

"Are you?"

"Of course! I'm Renge, after all!"

Her face looked gaunt as she smiled. Her shoulder blades protruded in jagged edges and seemed like they would slice her skin.

"You're not." he stated monotonously. He looked at her stick-like figure.

"Maybe," Renge stated as she smiled. "Maybe not, Mori-sempai."

"Ah."

"But why do you care, sempai?" she asked. Her eyes closed and she breathed in the cold air as they stood a bit away from the school courtyard.

"I don't know."

"I don't know why I'm like this either, sempai." Renge opened her eyes and exhaled, smiling.

The wind felt refreshing as it hit her face, pushing some strands of hair back to where they belonged. Mori only looked at her.

"Take care of yourself."

"I'll try."

That didn't stop her from not eating the next day, or the day after.

* * *

"Why do you hurt yourself like this?" he asked, slightly alarmed at how fragile she looked.

"Since there's no hope for me."

"I'll be your hope," he said as he held her bony wrist tightly. "I'll be your hope. I'll dream for you. I'll tell you that you're beautiful and this world is hope itself, so _stop_ doing this to yourself."

Renge smiled. "Then teach me what hope is. I forget." Her smile stretched widely across her lips as if laughing about a silent joke that nobody but she understood.

"Ah," Mori stated as a smile graced his lips for the first time in many weeks. "I will."

* * *

**A/N:** READ AND REVIEW!


End file.
